This was our book club choice for 3rd term. Once I was into it, it was really a pretty quick read.
Matt does not have an eating disorder, or at least that's what he tries to convince himself of. Not eating simply gives him super powers - the ability to smell other people, to detect how they feel, and to see into their secret pasts. His original intent: discover who chased his sister away and to make them suffer. However, the more Matt digs into the art of starving and his bloody mission, he realizes that his perception is skewed, and not everything is what he thought.
Overall, this was not my favorite book. There were some things that I did like: the author is brutally honest about depression, suicidal thoughts, and eating disorders and how it might look in teens. Matt is also a humorous character, which might be his only saving grace. Some of the writing is quite pretty at points, and I loved some of the descriptions from the author.
I did not like Matt's overall character, however. While he was funny and deep at times, the moments of depth didn't seem to fit his character. Additionally, Matt has literally every flaw/problem that a character can have: he doesn't fit into the societal norms, he's bullied, he's fatherless, his sister ran away, his town is dying, his mom's an alcoholic and on the verge of losing her job, they're financially unstable, he has an eating disorder, and suicidal ideation, and he's a porn addict. It just felt like a never ending litany of Matt trying to grapple with all of these struggles in a circular fashion and not make any headway. I'm sure there are people like this, but there wasn't much except his humor to redeem him as a character. It was almost as if the author sacrificed good character writing to try to appeal to a wider audience. I also didn't like that his relationship with Tariq was this giant band aid he put over his problems and convinced himself that it made him belong.
I also didn't love the pacing of this novel. It dragged and was repetitive in several spots. At times, I wanted the story to just get on with the point.
Also, the magical realism attempts were extremely confusing, culminating in Matt going to the slaughterhouse (where his mom has just been fired) and letting all the pigs out and going on a random rampage through town? I literally didn't know what to think about it. I felt that this aspect of the book was definitely its downfall.
I was a little disappointed in this book. Written differently, it could have been really important - discussing at risk LGBTQ+ youth with eating disorders is really tricky to tackle, and so, so, so important. There aren't enough voices telling those kinds of stories! I think if the author had narrowed his focus, and cut some of the magical realism, this book would have been amazing.
Overall, I rate it ⭐⭐
18+ - triggering discussions of suicidal ideation, eating disorders, a sex scene, and slurs.
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